I Need To Take The Pressure Off


This is weird. Whenever I sit down to write a blog post it's almost always me trying to formulate my opinions on a book or interviewing an author. It's hardly ever something personal, but here we are. 

I need to take the pressure off.

If I keep going the way I am then I'm going to end up not blogging any more. I'll probably delete my YouTube account and it might even kill off my love of reading. I'm pretty terrified. 

Over the past few years, I've been cooking a pressure soup in my brain. It started off with just reading 100 books a year, then I added in the spice of reviewing books, then I added my YouTube channel and now I think the soup is burning (sorry for anyone who may be eating soup while reading this).

I set myself lots of abstract and meaningless goals. Make this many videos a month, write this many blog posts, get this many views, this many subscribers, read this many books, and it's all way too much. More than that, it's silly. I read because I love reading, not because I need people to know about that or hear my opinions (although it's lovely to discuss books with friends online).

But just telling myself that I don't need to have these goals isn't enough because before I know it I'm right back where I was and having a tantrum on a Saturday morning because I can't get the technology to work or the lighting is shit or I've woken up too late to film two videos. Before I know it, half my day is gone. A quarter of my weekend has been spent with my stress levels almost above my head. What is the point in that?

I need to put it in writing that I'm not going to let this keep happening.

When I started blogging and vlogging, I absolutely loved it and most of the time I still do. I have so many ideas for content I can make and I'm proud of a lot of things I've posted on the internet. However, right now the pressure soup is making things uncomfortable. That's why I'm going to be slowing down. I'll still be reading, blogging and vlogging, but just not at this horrific speed.

While I want to keep my mental health issues personal, pressure is something that crops up a lot and it's something I need to be aware of. I know now that there's no way to go through the pressure - no matter how much content I make, it will never be enough. 

If this happens to you to, I hope this helps you think about it. And no - this does not count towards some stupid blog post goal. This one's for me.

Brb while I throw out this soup.

Love, Jess

2 comments:

  1. It's really refreshing to see someone talk about this weird pressure bloggers and bloggers put on themselves. (And, to an extent, the pressure others put on us too - I feel like when someone hears you have a blog/channel they're like 'well why aren't you famous?') I feel like in the last 6 months or so I've managed to stop pressuring myself and let things come naturally, but it hasn't been an easy road. I hope you get there too, and make a fresh batch of unpressured blogging soup.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's pressure from myself, publishers (even if they don't send any, I feel it!), the community, authors, and it can be really overwhelming. So glad you've managed to take the pressure down and I'm on my way to getting there too.

      Delete

copyright © . all rights reserved. designed by Color and Code

grid layout coding by helpblogger.com